Seeking Stories of Men with Bossy Wives for New Book
Does your wife dominate you? Does she feel she has the right to approve or disapprove of your friends, hobbies, clothes, beliefs, and even your choice of entertainment?
Man Up Men wants to hear your story! No revealing details or names will be used. Just tell as much as you feel comfortable telling. I know this stuff is embarrassing–believe me, I have my own story!
I want to get the word out about this little marriage secret–men are being beaten down by their women. Please help me get this story told by sharing your story with me.
Put your story below. Feel free to use an email address that disguises your true identity. I just need a way to conact you to let you know if I’m using your story.
Tags: affairs, being controlled by wife, bossy, bossy wives, cheating, domineering, domineering wives, husband abuse, marital abuse, marriage, midlife crisis, women dominating men
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August 5, 2008 at 11:54 pm
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October 30, 2008 at 3:37 pm
Comment from Inga:
I was searching on line and came across your site. Let me give you a
wife’s perspective.
First, yes, I am a wife that dominates her husband, and has been for
28 years. Yes, I feel that I do have the right to approve or
disapprove of his friends, hobbies, clothes, beliefs, and even his
choice of entertainment.
As far as our marriage, it is heaven on earth for me. My husband
listens to me and respects my wishes. He doesn’t like arguments and
disagreements. Most importantly, he desires to keep the peace. I’ve
drummed it into him, even while were dating and engaged, that he is
controlled for his own good and the good of the home, and the way our
relationship works is the normal way to live. If this, as you claim,
is “beating down” my husband, then I plead guilty. This attitude
is reinforced by his friends, who are also dominated by their wives.
By the way, in all my years (and I’m no spring chicken), I’ve
never come across a “husband-led” marriage. In my experience, the
wife has always wears the pants.
I think that a marriage succeeds to the extent that the husband does
what his wife says, and to the extent he is willing to give in to his
wife. The reality is that men don’t have that much power in a
marriage. I once heard the phrase,” enthusiastically capitulate.”
This means that wives and husbands get along best when the husband is
ready to give in.
If my husband doesn’t listen to me he is worked on until he
concedes, and until he concedes he finds life at home very difficult.
That’s just the way things are, so it’s better for the marriage
if the husband gives up right away. His term for my attitude toward
him is that I am “making war” on him. But, I don’t need to
“make war” much anymore. He knows the rules. Smart husbands
understand that while their wives can say “no,” they can’t.
Life is not fair. Neither is marriage.
I “keep both eyes” on my husband, to make sure he stays out of
trouble. Also, there is such a thing as “positive nagging.” I
watch what my husband does. I look out for him. I take care of him.
Men think they are losing their freedom when they marry, but in
reality they’re trading it in for having the wife oversee the
relationship, making sure the relationship runs, that everything gets
done, and that everybody’s happy. Nothing in life is free.
Is it healthy for men to be dominated? I have heard of studies
reporting that dominated or “henpecked” husbands live longer then
single men.
So, and I know you will disagree, I believe the secret to a long and
happy marriage is for the husband to listen to his wife and do what
she says. If you want to have a happy marriage then accept influence
from your wife.
October 30, 2008 at 3:39 pm
Inga,
Your arrogance is astonishing. You are in no position to tell someone else what is good for them.
What is more astonishing is that your husband lets you boss him. I have news for you, he is doing a lot of things on the side you don’t know about. How do I know? Because no human being accepts slavery.
Inga, I truly hope you suffer for destroying your husband.
John Bryan Stone
November 23, 2008 at 2:16 am
(this is kind of off topic)
Are you in a position to tell someone else what is good for them? The reason I ask is because if you write a book about what is good for someone, you need to be in a position to tell someone else what is good for them. Writing a book can be a lot of work and you need to look into these things, if you haven’t already, so you don’t waste your time and energy on something that can’t be published.
November 23, 2008 at 2:20 pm
anonimus,
I am quite curious–just what “position” do you think someone needs to be in to write a book?
March 5, 2009 at 1:57 pm
Inga,
You are the ideal wife and ideal woman. How sad are the childish “man-up men” grasping wildly and in vain for their long-lost “manhood?” That adolescent concept of self-serving masculine domination is a relic of either backward cultures or arrested sexual development of the individual.
In the former case, it is a barbaric and sickening reversal of the natural order of things between the sexes. In the latter case it is a figment of the pubescent male imagination, because whether he recognizes it or not, the married man is subservient to his wife.
The normal, healthy male has compulsory sexual desires that force him to submit, acquiesce, bow before, bend to and obey the woman who properly controls and limits his sexual activity.
You know who I envy? Your submissive and blissfully happy husband!
March 6, 2009 at 12:21 am
Wifeserver, we can be encouraged that our times are not being led by former men such as yourself. Let us hope that less subservient males will step forward and brave the hazards of these economic times, giving us leadership rather than sheepishness.
March 7, 2009 at 2:01 am
Inga may be exaggerating or if she isn’t, she may be going too far; however, I have been married for almost 28 years and I can say this: I started my marriage intending to dominate my wife and it didn’t work very well. We were both unhapy and it took years for both of us to discover what works. Today, even though I am by no means my wife’s slave, i acknowledge the fact that she is the head of the relationship. I accept this willingly because this results in a happy, healthy relationship. If she doesn’t approve of my friends, hobbies, clothes, beliefs, and choices of entertainment, then I don’t go there. She is not unreasonable about the way she approaches this and because I trust her, if we disagree, i just do what she wants. She’s happy and I’m happy. Why make marriage hell when we can be happy?
March 7, 2009 at 5:25 am
Bob,
It is completely unreasonable for one human being to “approve” of another’s friends, hobbies, clothes, beliefs and choices of entertainment.
March 8, 2009 at 7:24 am
Thank you for publishing and responding to my comment.
I think you misunderstand my personal philosophy. I am no wimp— nor are the myriad men who submit to their wives wimps —outside the home and in their day-to-day dealings. On the contrary, we are physically strong,assertive, masculine and aggressive in the business world and in our professions. We may have hawkish views on national policy and support strong individual rights and economic liberty.
We choose to be submissive in this one, limited, extremely personal and intimate area of life, namely in our relationship with the one woman who dominates our life, our wife.
Why? It’s easier, it’s better, they always know better, they reward our submissiveness, they make us miserable if we don’t go along, they’re more focused, more mature, more practical, more serious and they are superior to men IN THIS ONE AREA, namley one-on-one interpersonal, life-long committed relationships.
They know when to give and when to take. They only need to use us as sperm banks. Their willingness to indulge us with satisfying our sexual cravings is pure generosity on their part. A mere option, completely unnecessary beyond the purpose of conception. We want their bodies, but they want to beget children.
It’s completely uneven. If they can get us to get them pregnant and to financially support (and physically protect) them, that’s all they need from us. Any other sexual activity beyond securing our services for the above three needs is a waste of a woman’s energy, and they need never engage in it except out of pity and generosity. So we enlightened men strive to deserve their generosity, and we don’t need to whine and rant about how our women have control over us.
Face it! They DO! But when they dominate and boss us, it is only in the home. Only in the realm of marital relations. Outside this matrimonial relationship we’re as fit, strong, aggressive, macho, ambitious, greedy, industrious as anybody. And not distracted by or hung up on trying to overturn the natural order of wife-dominates-husband. it’s Nature’s way.
March 8, 2009 at 8:30 am
You deceive yourself if you think you can be a servant at home and a leader in the world. You have convinced yourself you need your wife’s permission to have sex. Strong men know that sex is readily available, certainly in ways that a wife might disapprove of, but you find that approval is not really necessary.
To say that all wives know best, that all wives are wiser, is pure brainwashing.
Please don’t pretend that you are anything but a servant in life. If you are serving at home, your sniveling shows up at the office.