Godly Bitches
Godly bitches are a special kind of bitch. They are not merely shrews and abusers, they are delusional wenches who are convinced God is on their side. They pack all their tongue lashings in scriptures. Your role in their lives is to understand that they are chosen and you are not. You are going to hell, and just to prove it, they are going to put you through hell.
If you are dating a Godly bitch, if you are married to a Godly bitch, you will never win an argument. God has spoken to them, so they believe, and you are in the grasp of evil. In fact, anything she does to hurt you is justified because you keep company with demons, devils and democrats.
Please be aware that there is no limit to the kind of damage a Godly bitch will seek to do to you. There is nothing that is off limits. You see, Godly bitches have no morals. They simply have righteousness instead. They are so convinced they are right, you will get nowhere discussing ethical behavior with them.
How to recognize a Godly bitch? They smile like Palin, a kind of smirk that never goes away.
I got rid of a Godly bitch. I used many of the techniques in my book. I got out clean, with no leftover insanity.
If you have a Godly bitch in your life, make plans now to get away. This kind of crazy does not get better.
Tags: bitch, bitches, bossy wives, delusion, divorce, Godly, Palin, religion, Sara
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October 8, 2008 at 2:50 pm
The only way to ‘Man Up Men’ is to here and obey the living word of God.
I want you to know that you did not get rid of your woman, you decided to get rid of
God. It’s called running from God.
If you were not being convicted in your heart from the witness of your Godly woman, then you would have no reason to ‘Rid’ yourself of her.
My lost friend you can continue running from God but when you do this you are running
toward condemnation, and a worthless existence, of which there is no peace. I pray that
you’ll be given another chance by God’s grace.
Realize this, if your woman did not love you, then she would not be trying to bring to your attention, the very thing that would fill the emptiness in your life.
October 8, 2008 at 6:58 pm
Gary,
My “Godly” woman physically abused me, attacking me while I was recovering from surgery in bed. Perhaps I missed the “Abuse for Jesus” seminar.
October 9, 2008 at 12:37 am
Our friend Gary is a tad confused for a good Christian. If I recall correctly, do not Christians think of the Diety as male? So where, friend Gary, isit defined that a woman the voice of the Almighty? I do hope that whatever female mouse you married doesn’t turn on you. I have seen this happen to a very nice guy who was a Navy Seal. His mousy wife left him for a woman! Good God!
October 9, 2008 at 5:35 pm
Manupmen,
I understand now, and I’m sorry that your woman treated you like that. You see, to often when a person has decided to follow Christ, they rush things and they don’t allow enough time for God to Sanctify them(look that word up). So her error seems to be that she was trying to force you (by her own power) to be saved. Her not realizing that it’s the spirit of God that beckons us (humans) to believe through God’s grace and mercy and love. Although she may have had good intentions, she failed to be the witness that God intended her to be. She was not portraying Godliness when she attacked you, so please don’t put the blame on God. He truly loves us and offers us eternal life through the one and only savior Jesus Christ. May you find peace in him.
And as for your comment bin. The word of God(Bible) is the voice of the Almighty, therefore it can be read by Man, Women or Child and still deliver Salvation to the lost. Try this, read the bible out-loud and you will find that your faith will increase.
God Bless both of you and all who read this post. Amen
October 9, 2008 at 6:56 pm
Gary,
You are saying that a woman who physically attacked her husband when he couldn’t defend himself had good intentions. You are sick!
October 16, 2008 at 8:41 am
Let this one go, manup! He’s too enraptured to have a secular discussion.
October 16, 2008 at 9:01 am
You may be right. I found it interesting that he automatically took her side because of shared faith. I suppose that is the purpose of faith–instant comrades.
November 2, 2008 at 2:21 pm
Not having heard what words were said or the tone the woman said them in, I would be hesitant to speculate about the situation without having been a witness.
That having been said, it seems to be true that too many men in MLC turn away from God and become angry at him simply because they have age related health problems or a yen to recapture their fading youth or get led into unfaithfulness by yet another needy woman. Youth fades despite our best efforts. It is a biological reality. Unfortunately, reality is commodity that too many in MLC seem to have a limited or non existent supply of.
Speaking of reality, I will say this….this blog appears to have been written by someone in MLC. As for the quote, “Put on some socks and grow a pair.” My counter to that is, “Put on your big boy pants and take responsiblity for your own part in the failure of your relationship.”
As a psychologist, I have never seen a failed relationship that didn’t have two sets of fingerprints all over it. For one spouse to blame it all on the other is childish and shows a lack of introspection.
Why did you not set appropriate boundaries from the beginning? Note the word: appropriate. People treat us the way we allow them to treat us.
Did YOU do your part to maintain intimacy and romance in your relationship or did you leave it all up to the spouse?
More importantly… how many times are you going to keep starting over?
Keep in mind, friend, all those women out there who are sooo different from that alleged shrew you were with may not be so very different once they feel secure that you have committed. It is astonishing how proprietary a partner can become once the nose ring is in place. Oops..there goe those boundaries again!
If you want to read a constructive and productive book, why don’t you try, “Men in Midlife Crisis,” by Jim Conway. He is a Christian and I don’t think you will find a preachy or patronizing word on any page he has written. He had an MLC himself and speaks from the voice of experience .
In closing, you seem to be a bitter and very paranoid man. I agree with you that not all marriages are successful and some should not continue. But too many are destroyed by a spouse (of either sex) who abandons committment and seeks his or her own immediate self-gratification at the expense not only of the spouse but of the family.
The issues are not within the other person. They are within YOU.
Until YOU sort out YOUR baggage, your relationships are probably going to be superficial. But then that may be what you want.
Apparently leaving your partner has not helped you shed your bitterness or you just might not be out here laying out a blueprint that could be used by confused, unhappy people (who actually have good spouses and great families) as an excuse for leaving a trail human wreckage and irreparably damaging not only their own but another family as well.
I hope you are able to find some peace and some relief from your bitterness. You sure sound like you need it.
November 2, 2008 at 3:45 pm
Couldn’t resist that little twist on the buying stocks comment. LOL
November 2, 2008 at 3:50 pm
Ibs,
A person who names abuse is not bitter. You are blaming the victim. It is a common approach to men who speak up.
Fortunately, we are not buying it. An abusive woman is abusive, and naming the behavior is not a sign of bitterness, inadequacy, or psychological problems.
Shame on you.
November 2, 2008 at 4:15 pm
Naming abuse and ranting are two different things. Extra-marital affairs are also emotional abuse. Do 2 wrongs make a right?
I maintain my stance: People treat us the way we allow them to treat us.
If you knew the woman was abusive, and there should have been many signs BEFORE you committed, why did you get into the relationship in the first place?
November 2, 2008 at 4:37 pm
Ibs,
Abusers are masters of deception. They can be charming at the beginning of a relationship.
But even if you were right that there were signs early on, this does not justify the abuse.
November 2, 2008 at 6:31 pm
Most abusers are not masters of deception, unless they are true socipaths. True sociopaths are extremely rare.
Everyone is charming at the beginning of a relationship. Which is why we should get to know people well before committing as opposed to marrying while in limerance. It is also the reason that many people in MLC jump from the frying pan into the fire. ..and end going from bad to worse because people who take up with someone in MLC are usually either needy or predatory themselves.
Nothing justifies deliberate abuse but some of what appears to be abuse is not intentional at all. I have client whom I am sure YOU would call a shrew. Turns out she has Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder. A relatively mild medication regime makes her a different woman. Her husband, not being conflict avoidant, simply laid down the law and told her (1) that he loved her very much but that (2) he had had enough of her, “going off,” and (3) that she would get professional help or that he would leave and stay gone until appropriate help was obtained. She was a tough cookie. He actually had to move out to get her attention. (Actions always speak louder than words.) Notice that he set boundaries and acted out of love….not the fear and hatred that I pick up on in your posts. This marriage could have been another statistic but the husband took decisive action to protect and save someone he loved. Now that is what I call a REAL MAN UP MAN.
November 2, 2008 at 6:33 pm
Ibs,
You are an apologist for abusers. I think sometimes it is the people who justify abuse who are doing more damage than anybody.
November 2, 2008 at 6:46 pm
With reference to the story in my prior post:
The husband did not assume a victim stance and whine about his abuse.
He did not consider wife evil because of her difficulty regulating her behavior
He did not abandon his wife, run away and look for the perfect other woman.
He looked for constructive ways to save the relationship.
He set boundaries and enforced them with tough love.
He acted out of love and confidence and not out of fear.
This is what True Love is.
Please explain to me how this story makes me an apologist for abusers?
November 2, 2008 at 6:50 pm
First of all to characterize a person who complains about abuse as someone who “whines” is a put down of the person abused.
Secondly, the husband behaved like a victim throughout by “understanding” his wife.
Victims of abuse often take on the role of understanding, trying to cajole their mates into behaving like decent people.
The proper response would have been to leave her. She did not have “difficulty regulating her behavior.” She was abusive to another human being.
November 2, 2008 at 7:21 pm
I would dearly love for you to tell me what was destructive about the man setting boundaries with love, enforcing them with love and being pivotal in saving his marriage and his wife’s health?
Should he have bought a sports care, run off with the office slut, f*cked his brains out on the company nickel and said, “To hell with my shrew wife.”?
Real men find constructive solutions; they do not run from their problems.
It has been my experience that those of either gender whom I see in MLC are people who have a great deal of shame about who they are and cannot set appropriate boundaries. As a means of discipline, their mothers (who generally speaking NEVER “went off,” on anybody) quietly, consistently, ruthlessly, and with the sweetest smile, utilized excessive guilt and shame along with the implied threat of the withdrawal of love and approval to induce total conformity and an inability to dissent (even when appropriate) in their children–not the ass beatings that one would have expected to have produced a conflict-avoidant emotional coward. What happens with that kind of discipline is you get two extremes: conflict-avoidance or oppositional defiance because the child is put in a double bind and is going to go one way or another. To me one of the most horrendous forms of child abuse that can be perpertrated is to make a conflict-avoidant, emotional cripple out of a child to the point where it is virtually impossible for him to be normally assertive as an adult.
Conflict, even the kind with loud yelling, is not the number one cause of relationship failure.
Conflict avoidance is the #1 predictor of divorce/relationship failure..and the odds are highest when BOTH spouses are conflict avoidant. They simply lose all intimacy because there is NEVER any honest communication.
Google: John Gottman for plenty of info on this.
Tell me, Mr. Stone, are you sure you are angry at the appropriate woman or does your anger go much further back?
November 2, 2008 at 7:39 pm
YOU DID NOT READ MY POST THOROUGHLY–
1. Because he loved her the husband left his wife for the RIGHT reason…in order to get compliance with treatment on her part and rebuild his relationship.
2. This is not behaving like a victim; it is showing tremendous courage
3. This is what I call a win-win situation.
4. 2 people back in love
5. Children in stable, happy home with both natural parents.
Please explain to me what is wrong with this picture because I fail to find anything wrong with the man’s actions.
November 3, 2008 at 2:14 am
ibs, you should not call women sluts.
November 3, 2008 at 2:34 am
ibs, I have no anger. I am very happy. When one confronts an abuser, it is not dramatic. You simply name the behavior, and stop understanding it. Understanding is for victims.
November 3, 2008 at 2:37 am
ibs,
You “understand” the abuser, and accuse the victim of psychological problems. You are the same old tyrant we have known for decades.
November 3, 2008 at 10:56 pm
“It is unhealthy to blame anyone’s “scars” on someone else. Women who blame men for their wounds are not taking responsibility for their part in hurting themselves. “…..John Bryan Stone
(Found this comment of yours on someone else’s blog. )
If you axiom is true for females, then men who blame women for their wounds are not taking responsiblity for their part in hurting themselves either.
I fully agree that it is unhealthy to blame one’s own “scars,” on someone else unless one was a defenseless child when the abuse occurred. And even then the victim needs to seek a method of healing and letting go of old pain from that which s/he cannot go back and undo. We cannot change one thing about yesterday, we can only live in today; and if we carry open wounds forward, our tomorrows won’t be much better.
To answer your comment that I should not call women sluts. Some women are sluts, pure and simple, just as some men are what my daughter so eloquently calls, “Man Ho’s,” These people need to leave off the extramarital affairs and do the inner work on their own neediness–not jumping from partner to partnet to find what is missing inside themselves. Using infidelity as a vehicle to leave a marriage (no matter how miserable) is the coward’s way out and shows a complete lack of willingness to accept any responsibilty for improving one’s own inner self not to mention a lack of integrity….specially when multiple families can be destroyed in the process. People who entice other in to unfaithfulness and cannot see how destructive it is are capable of lies, deceit, and treachery. If they will do it with you; they are quite capable of doing it to you, when you when the lust wears off and your flaws become evident.
Other people do not provide our inner sense of basic contentment. They can contribute much to our happiness or to our discomfort; but in the final analysis, we are all responsible for our own self-satisfaction. People in MLC are avoiding dealing with their own inner issue and frequently health issues as well, and they typically leave a wake of destruction of spouses, children, and relatives when they choose the easy way out.
I “understand,” the abuser and abused because it is my job to do so. I am a proponent of healing not hating.
Perhaps you should have titled your book, “Break Free From The Abuse.”
Any adult who remains in an emotionally abusive relationship for any length of time without either setting effective boundaries and/or getting effective help (or in the case of physical abuse not removing him/herself physically) has psychological problems that are as deep seated as the, “abuser.” One term for it is masochism.
Mr. Stone, you strike me as a man who was wounded deeply by a woman (or possibly women) in the past and who has an obvious gender bias. No matter how things shake out it always seems to be the woman’s fault according to you. Are you perhaps the garden variety mysogynist in blogger’s clothing.?
November 3, 2008 at 10:58 pm
BTW…I am not a woman.
November 3, 2008 at 11:17 pm
ibs,
I am not wounded. I am not bitter. I do not blame anyone for hurting me, and I have no scars.
Why can’t you get it?
Naming an abuser an abuser is simply calling a fact a fact. It does not require one to be psychologically damaged.
I have no gender bias. Abuse is abuse. If a woman is an abuser, it is not a sign of being “wounded deeply” to name her behavior.
Sheesh. Simple.
November 4, 2008 at 3:36 am
Naming gender bias is naming gender bias.
Why can’t you get it?
November 4, 2008 at 7:13 am
# manupmen Says:
November 4, 2008 at 6:36 am e
ibs,
It is not gender bias just because you say it is. Here is the situation: because men are considered “wimpy” if they are abused by women, people like you mock them. People like you want it to be about gender bias, people like you want it to be a psychological problem the man has. It couldn’t possibly be the woman’s problem! In fact, you have the gender bias.
Female abuse is an epidemic. Battered men are a dirty secret. ibs, your work is evil. You are an enabler. You blame the victim, claiming some psychological damage the victim must have.
Men will not be silenced into submission. We will not stand for abuse. It is not okay, it is not something we deserve, and it does not indicate we did something wrong. Your ‘blame the victim’ mentality is sick, demeaning, and unacceptable.
Screaming “gender bias” when a woman is identified as an abuser is a trick. It is a trick used to allow the abuser to continue. You will not succeed. We will not give in to your insistence that something is wrong with the victim. Your work is evil. Your intention is dishonorable.
So claim it is the man’s fault if a woman abuses him. Go ahead and suggest that it is the man who has psychological problems. We know better. We are well-adjusted and healthy. You can tell we are, because we stood up to the abuse.
It is people like you who have always accused rape victims of doing something to deserve to be raped. It is people like you who have always claimed blacks had some inferiority that brought on their second class citizenship. Now you have moved on to your next convenient target–abused men. It is their fault. They brought it on. There is something wrong with them.
You are doing evil work.
November 9, 2008 at 11:30 am
ibs,
He just put you in your place.
November 27, 2008 at 6:46 pm
doesntagree…
The one thing I love about freedom of speech in this country is that we all are entitled to and can express our opinions…you have yours and I have mine. Ain’t that great!!!
In no way to I feel “put in my place.” BTW..I suspect you assume I am a woman, and therefore should be put in my place as a, “shrew” (Translation: Woman who says something other than, “Yes.”)
Remember the cliche about assumptions?
Perhaps this blog should be renamed Mysognist’s Melange!
November 27, 2008 at 6:48 pm
MUM…
An enabler stays in the abusive situation thus enabling the abuser to keep on abusing.
What in that logic is lost on you?
November 27, 2008 at 6:48 pm
MUM…
An enabler stays in the abusive situation thus enabling the abuser to keep on abusing.
What in that logic is lost on you?
November 27, 2008 at 10:53 pm
A person who points out that a woman is wrong is not a misogynist.